Catchup with Coach M - Edition 68 - Your Story Isn’t Done

There are moments in life when it feels easier to close the book.

A setback happens.

A diagnosis changes everything.

A goal doesn't happen when you thought it would.

Your body doesn't respond the way you wanted it to.

You miss the race.

You lose your fitness.

You fall off the plan.

Life throws something at you that you never saw coming.

And somewhere in all of that, a little voice starts whispering:

“Maybe this is it.”

Maybe I'm too old.

Maybe I'm too far behind.

Maybe I've left it too late.

Maybe I'm too broken.

Maybe I'm not strong enough.

Maybe I've already failed too many times.

Maybe I should just accept where I am.

I want you to stop right there.

Your story isn't done.

Not because everything will magically work out.

Not because life suddenly becomes easier.

Not because setbacks aren't real.

Your story isn't done because you are still here.

And as long as you are still here, there is another chapter to write.

Sometimes We Mistake a Chapter for the Ending

One of the biggest mistakes we make is believing that the chapter we are currently living is the entire story.

We have a bad month and decide we are failures.

We gain weight and decide we will never get fit again.

We miss a goal and decide we aren't capable.

We get injured and convince ourselves that our running days are over.

We receive a diagnosis and immediately start imagining the worst possible ending.

We experience failure and assume that failure is our identity.

But a chapter is not a book.

A setback is not a life sentence.

And a delay is not a denial of everything that is still possible.

We throw the word failure around far too easily.

Sometimes what we call failure is simply unfinished business.

It is the part of the story where we haven't yet figured out what we are supposed to learn.

Maybe the plan didn't work.

Maybe your approach wasn't sustainable.

Maybe you underestimated what the goal would require.

Maybe you weren't ready.

Maybe circumstances changed.

Maybe you simply need more time.

That doesn't mean you start again from zero.

You start again with experience.

And experience changes everything.

Because the person who starts again after learning from the first attempt is not the same person who started the first time.

You know more.

You've felt more.

You've survived more.

You've discovered what works.

You've discovered what doesn't.

And perhaps most importantly, you've discovered something about yourself.

Facing the Storm With Standards

This past week marked a series of massive and monumental dates in my own life.

Dates that represent second chances.

Third chances.

Recovery.

Perspective.

And, perhaps most importantly, the decision to keep holding the line when life was doing everything it could to make me let go.

After a difficult journey, I received a clean bill of health and am officially in remission.

My lungs haven't looked this good in years.

The organs that had been affected have recovered.

And when you have lived through a period where you weren't sure what the next chapter would look like, those words mean more than I can properly explain.

But getting here wasn't luck.

It wasn't magic.

And it certainly wasn't easy.

Back in 2017/2018, there was a point where I honestly thought:

“This is it. I can't do this anymore.”

I was exhausted.

I was overwhelmed.

And I had reached a point where continuing felt almost impossible.

But by grace, I made it to the next chapter. 2021 Life happened again.

And then, last year, life interrupted everything once again.

Except this time, I was different.

I had experience.

I'd already been through things I never thought I would survive.

I'd learned what it felt like to have my life turned upside down.

I'd learned how quickly circumstances can change.

And I'd learned something else too.

I knew what I was no longer willing to tolerate.

That changed the conversation completely.

This time I wasn't simply hoping things would get better.

I wasn't prepared to sit back and accept whatever happened.

I set a standard for my life.

And I refused to compromise on it.

I was prepared to do whatever was necessary to heal.

But I also knew that healing couldn't simply mean surviving.

I wanted quality of life.

I wanted to live.

I wanted to move.

I wanted to experience things.

I wanted to be present.

I wanted to have goals again.

I wanted to be able to look forward instead of constantly looking over my shoulder.

And sometimes that is what happens when we reach a definitive tipping point.

We stop negotiating with ourselves.

We stop saying:

"I'll start next week."

"I'll get serious when things settle down."

"I'll do it when I feel motivated."

"Maybe I can't."

And instead we say:

“This matters. And I'm going to do what it takes.”

Uncompromising Commitment Doesn't Mean Perfect

I want to make something very clear.

Uncompromising commitment does not mean perfection.

It doesn't mean you never have a bad day.

It doesn't mean you never miss a workout or change the plan for the day

It doesn't mean you never eat something that wasn't on the plan.

It doesn't mean you never get tired.

It doesn't mean you never change direction.

And it certainly doesn't mean you ignore your body, your circumstances or professional advice.

Commitment means that when life changes the plan, you adapt without abandoning the destination.

There is a massive difference between changing the plan and giving up on yourself.

Sometimes commitment means pushing forward.

Sometimes it means slowing down.

Sometimes it means resting.

Sometimes it means asking for help.

Sometimes it means changing the goal.

Sometimes it means starting again.

But the common denominator is this:

You don't abandon yourself.

Motivation Is Not a Strategy

We love talking about motivation.

Motivation is exciting.

It's the feeling you get when you decide:

"This is it. Monday I'm changing everything."

You buy the shoes.

You download the app.

You clean out the cupboards.

You make the plan.

You are fired up.

And then Wednesday happens.

You're tired.

Work was difficult.

The weather is horrible.

You didn't sleep well.

Something happened at home.

And suddenly the motivation has disappeared.

What happened?

Nothing.

That's the problem.

Motivation was never designed to carry the entire journey.

Research into resilience, behaviour change and self-efficacy points repeatedly toward something much more sustainable than waiting to feel motivated.

You need evidence that you can trust yourself.

Psychologist Albert Bandura's work on self-efficacy describes the belief that we are capable of carrying out the behaviours necessary to achieve a particular outcome.

And one of the most powerful ways we build that belief is through our own experiences.

You make a promise to yourself.

You keep it.

You build evidence.

You make another promise.

You keep that one too.

Eventually, something changes.

You stop saying:

"I hope I can."

And you start thinking:

“I know I can show up.”

That is powerful.

Every Time You Show Up, You Cast a Vote for the Person You're Becoming

I am currently at just over two years of daily intentional non negotiable movement.

Two years.

Not two years of perfect workouts.

Not two years where every session was amazing.

Not two years where I always felt like doing it.

Two years of making movement part of my everyday life. YES...Movement has always been a big part but until two years ago it was a when needed or when there was a goal or reason to, not a daily intentional non negotiable.

Recently, I took a small weekend break with my family.

It would have been incredibly easy to say:

"I'm away. I'll start again when I get home."

And honestly?

Nobody would have blamed me.

I could have slept in.

I could have skipped the movement.

I could have decided that because I was away from my normal routine, the routine didn't matter.

But my daily movement had become non-negotiable.

Did I sleep in three hours later than usual?

Absolutely.

Did my routine look different?

Yes.

Did I still get up and do what I had committed to?

Yes.

My current training block called for a minimum step count and a strength session on the days away. .

So I got it done.

It wasn't dramatic.

There was no inspirational music playing in the background.

Nobody was handing me a medal. There was nobody that would check up on me.

It was simply another opportunity to keep a promise to myself.

And that's where change happens.

Not in the spectacular moments.

In the ordinary ones. The moments when your body and brain learns that you can trust yourself for keeping those promises. What we need to realise is, that just like you don't trust a person, that breaks promises to you or doesn't show up as they say they would've. The same way your body reacts to that broken promise, your body reacts to broken promises to yourself.

Consistency Is Built in the Boring Moments

I have spoken about this endlessly since we started this blog and I will again because this is the magic ingredient that people discount for minimal. We often celebrate the big things.

The marathon finish.

The weight-loss milestone.

The before-and-after photograph.

The PB.

The qualification.

The promotion.

The diagnosis that finally comes back clear.

But none of those moments happen without hundreds of ordinary decisions that nobody sees over and over again.

The early morning walks.

The strength sessions when you would rather sit on the couch or stay in bed when its cold and dark.

The meal you prepare instead of ordering takeout.

The run where your pace is terrible because you are tired but you finish anyway.

The recovery day when you finally accept that resting is part of training and instead of the HIIT workout you simply go for a walk 

The appointment you don't want to attend.

The uncomfortable conversation with someone or with yourself.

The decision to try again.

The choice to go to bed instead of scrolling for another hour.

These things don't look impressive.

But they are the foundation.

The boring work is often the most important work.

Stop Waiting for the Perfect Time

There is no perfect time to change your life there is just a now and keep showing up.

There will always be something that says not now. That's how our brains are wired. To protect us.

Work.

Family.

Money.

Stress.

Weather.

Age.

Injury or illness

Responsibilities.

Fatigue.

Unexpected circumstances.

If you wait until everything is perfect before you begin, you may never begin.

Instead, learn to work with what you have.

Maybe you can't run 10 kilometres today.

Walk 1 or 2

Maybe you can't train five days a week.

Train 3 days.

Maybe you can't completely overhaul your nutrition overnight.

Change one meal and then one again and again.

Maybe you can't lose the amount of weight you want in three months.

Give yourself 6 or 12 or even 24....how long have you been overweight.....why do we expect an overnight change when we were in the situation for a long long time.

Maybe your original goal or destination is no longer appropriate.

Change the goal or Change the journey there. 

But don't confuse changing the plan with giving up on yourself.

Your Standards Matter

There comes a point where you have to decide what you are willing to accept from yourself.

Not because you need to become harsh or obsessive.

Because you need to respect yourself enough to stop making promises you don't intend to keep and you can let your body and brain learn to trust yourself again.

If you say you're going to move three times a week, then move three times a week.

If you say you're going to prioritise your nutrition, then prioritise it.

If you say you're going to start training, start.

If you say you're going to recover properly, recover properly.

And when something genuinely gets in the way?

Adapt.

Don't disappear.

There is a difference between:

“I couldn't do The plan A today. So I adapted and did B

and

“I can't do it, so I'm giving up.”

The first is life.

The second is a decision.

Half-Measures Keep You Stuck

This is probably one of the harder truths I have learned as both a coach and someone who has had to rebuild parts of my own life multiple times.

You cannot continually give half of yourself to something and then be surprised when you get half the result or no result at all.

You cannot train occasionally and expect consistent performance.

You cannot eat well only when it is convenient and expect your health to change dramatically or Change your body composition. 

You cannot work on your mindset once every six months and expect years of thinking patterns to disappear overnight.

You cannot say you want change while continually protecting the habits that keep you exactly where you are.

At some point, you have to decide:

What am I actually committed to?

Not what sounds good.

Not what you post on social media.

Not what you tell your friends.

What are you actually prepared to do?

Because commitment is demonstrated through behaviour.

Give Change the Time It Deserves

We live in a world that wants everything immediately.

Fast results.

Quick fixes.

Seven-day transformations.

Thirty-day challenges.

Instant gratification.

But your body doesn't work according to an online marketing campaign.

Fitness takes time or sometimes years.

Strength takes time.

Endurance takes time.

Metabolic changes take time and honestly hard work.

Habits take time.

Healing takes time.

Confidence takes time.

And rebuilding your relationship with yourself takes time.

You can't rush adaptation.

You can't bully your body into becoming fitter overnight.

You can't force a habit into existence in three days.

And you can't measure your progress only by what the scale says.

Sometimes progress is sleeping better.

Sometimes it's having more energy.

Sometimes it's being able to walk further.

Sometimes it's getting stronger.

Sometimes it's recovering faster.

Sometimes it's having the courage to start again.

And sometimes progress is simply this:

You didn't quit.

Respect Yourself Enough to Show Up

This is perhaps the biggest lesson I want to leave you with.

Showing up for yourself is an act of self-respect.

Not punishment.

Not obsession.

Not perfection.

Self-respect.

You don't move because you hate your body.

You move because you value it.

You don't improve your nutrition because you aren't good enough.

You improve it because your health matters.

You don't train because your current body isn't worthy.

You train because you want to discover what your body is capable of.

You don't chase a goal because who you are today isn't enough.

You chase it because you believe there is more in you.

There is a massive difference.

And perhaps that difference is where sustainable change begins.

Your Past Doesn't Get to Write Your Future

Maybe you've failed before.

So have I.

Maybe you've started and stopped.

So have millions of people.

Maybe you've gained the weight back.

Maybe you've missed the race.

Maybe you've lost fitness.

Maybe you've made decisions you aren't proud of.

Maybe life has dealt you cards you never asked for.

None of that changes what you do next.

Your past can teach you.

It can humble you.

It can strengthen you.

It can give you perspective.

But it does not have to control your future.

You are allowed to begin again.

And when you begin again, you don't need to pretend the past didn't happen.

Take it with you.

Take the lessons.

Take the scars.

Take the experience.

Take the knowledge of what didn't work.

Take the understanding of what matters.

And build something better from it, but don't let the past become an anchor.

Don't Close the Book Yet

So, whatever chapter you are currently reading, don't close the book early.

If you're struggling with your health, your story isn't done.

If you've gained weight, your story isn't done.

If you've lost your fitness, your story isn't done.

If you've missed your goal, your story isn't done.

If you've had to start again, your story isn't done.

If you're older than you thought you'd be when you finally started, your story isn't done.

If your journey looks completely different from the one you imagined, your story isn't done.

Maybe this isn't the chapter you wanted.

Maybe it is messy.

Maybe it hurts.

Maybe it is taking longer than you expected.

Maybe you're tired.

But there is still another page.

And another.

And another.

You don't need to know exactly how the story ends.

You just need to be willing to turn the page.

Raise your standards.

Learn from what happened.

Commit to what matters.

Show up.

Adapt when necessary.

Rest when necessary.

Ask for help when necessary.

And keep moving forward.

Because sometimes the greatest transformation doesn't happen when life gets easier.

It happens when you finally decide:

“Whatever comes next, I am not abandoning myself.”

Your story isn't done.

Keep turning the page.