Catchup with Coach M - Edition 67 - Change Your Story, Change Your Life

I haven't written about mindset in quite a while, and if I'm honest, that's because this blog has been sitting in my drafts for months.

Every now and then I'd open it, read the first few paragraphs and close it again. It wasn't that I didn't believe in the message. It was because I knew this wasn't going to be another blog about "thinking positively." There are enough of those floating around on the internet.

This is about something much deeper.

It's about the conversation you have with yourself every single day.

The one nobody else hears.

The one that quietly decides whether you start...or stay exactly where you are. And After I published one of my other blog's last night I realised they belong next to each other. READ IT HERE

The Story You Keep Repeating

Every person has a story.

Some stories are true.

Some stories were handed to us by parents, teachers, friends or society.

Others were written after one failure, one heartbreak or one bad decision.

The problem is that after repeating those stories long enough, we stop questioning whether they're actually true.

Instead, they become our identity.

"I'm too old."

"I'm not disciplined."

"I've never been athletic."

"I'm just not good with money."

"I'm not leadership material."

"I'm too busy."

"I've always struggled with my weight."

"I've failed before."

Sound familiar?

The scary part is that most of us don't even realise we're saying these things anymore.

They've become automatic.

And the more we repeat them, the more our lives start reflecting them.

As Henry Ford famously said,

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right."

We Love Labels

The world loves putting people into boxes.

The fit person.

The successful entrepreneur.

The natural athlete.

The runner.

The cyclist.

The swimmer.

The CEO.

Social media has only made it worse.

Scroll for five minutes and you'll believe everyone who runs has six-pack abs.

Every entrepreneur drives a luxury car.

Every person in the gym has the perfect body.

Every successful person has life completely figured out.

It's a lie.

I've coached enough people over the years to tell you something that social media never will.

The people you admire still have doubts.

They still battle motivation.

They still fail.

The difference is they don't stop because they had a bad day.

Two Things Have To Change

Real change isn't nearly as complicated as we make it.

It starts with two decisions.

The first is to stop believing the story you've been telling yourself.

Not because it never happened.

But because it doesn't have to define where you're going.

The second is to take action.

Simple?

Yes.

Easy?

Not at all.

Changing your mindset is probably harder than losing the twenty kilograms you've been trying to lose for the last ten years.

Because you've spent years rehearsing that negative story.

You've become really good at believing it.

You're Already More Capable Than You Think

Here's something I find fascinating.

People will tell me they're not disciplined enough to exercise three times a week.

The same person runs a business.

Raises children.

Gets everyone to school on time.

Keeps a household functioning.

Looks after ageing parents.

Works a full-time job.

Pays bills.

Solves problems.

Makes impossible situations work.

Tell me again you're not disciplined.

You already are.

You've simply decided that discipline doesn't apply to your own health or its not a priority in your life. 

Somewhere along the line you stopped believing you were worth the same investment or respect you make into everyone else.

We Complicate Everything

Human beings have an incredible ability to take simple things and make them difficult.

Take nutrition.

People ask me all the time what the secret is.

There isn't one.

Your body isn't asking for magic.

It's asking for consistency.

Protein, Carbohydrates, Healthy fats, Fibre and Water.

So if you feed it Enough wholesome food.

Not too much over processed crap. 

Move your body.

Repeat tomorrow.

That's it.

Yet we spend hours searching for the perfect diet while ignoring the basics that actually work.

The same happens with training.

People think every workout needs to be different.

Every meal unique.

Every week revolutionary.

Why?

If you eat three meals a day, that's twenty-one meals every week.

Trying to make every single one different is exhausting.

Even the best restaurants rotate menus.

Even elite athletes repeat training blocks.

Even world-class businesses operate on systems.

Success isn't built on endless variety.

It's built on consistent execution.

As James Clear wrote,

"You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems."

Think about running.

The formula hasn't changed in decades.

One long run, One speed session, One tempo run, One easy run.

The sessions change in length but

The principle doesn't.

Strength training?

Progressive overload.

Business?

Solve problems consistently.

Relationships?

Show up consistently.

Everything worthwhile in life follows the same principle.

Consistency beats intensity every single time.

The Real Battle Isn't Physical

People think the hardest part of getting healthier is the training.

It isn't.

It's getting your mind to believe you're the kind of person who trains, can maintain the weight loss, Run the business etc. 

That's the difference.

Identity comes before behaviour.

If you believe you're lazy...

You'll behave like a lazy person.

If you believe you're unhealthy...

You'll keep making unhealthy decisions.

If you believe you'll never succeed...

You'll subconsciously prove yourself right.

Your brain is always listening to the story you're telling it.

So be careful what story you're rehearsing.

Your Mind Needs Training Too

Here's something we rarely talk about.

Your mind adapts exactly like your body does.

Walk into the gym after six months off and your muscles will scream.

Go for a run after sitting on the couch all winter and you'll feel every step.

Why?

Because your body isn't used to it.

Your mindset works exactly the same way.

If you've spent twenty years telling yourself you're not good enough, your brain has built a motorway around that belief.

Now you decide one Monday morning you're going to start thinking positively or changing your story

Of course it feels uncomfortable.

Of course it feels fake.

You're asking your brain to drive down a road it has never travelled before.

Those new neural pathways don't develop overnight.

They develop through repetition.

Every single day.

Just like fitness.

Just like business.

Just like learning a new skill.

Mindset isn't motivation.

Mindset is brain training.

Stop Waiting To Feel Ready

One of the biggest lies people believe is this:

"I'll start when I feel confident."

No, you won't.

Confidence comes after action.

Not before it.

You don't become confident by reading another motivational book.

You become confident by doing the thing you thought you couldn't do.

Again.

And again.

And again.

As Mel Robbins says,

"You're never going to feel like it. You have to move before you're ready."

So What's Your Story?

At the end of the day, every one of us has a choice.

Keep telling the story that has kept you stuck.

Or start writing a different one.

Nobody else can rewrite it.

Nobody else can think for you.

Nobody else can build your health, your business, your relationships or your future.

That responsibility belongs to you.

Not tomorrow.

Not next month.

Today.

Because every action you take is a vote for the person you're becoming.

So I'll leave you with one final thought from Carol Dweck, whose work on growth mindset has changed millions of lives:

"Becoming is better than being."

You don't have to become the finished product overnight.

You just have to become a little better than you were yesterday.

Drop the excuses.

Stop believing the old story.

Start training your mind with the same commitment you expect from your body.

Because the life you want starts with the thoughts you choose to believe.

So ask yourself one question.

Is the story you're telling yourself helping you become the person you were created you to be—or is it keeping you exactly where you are?