Catch up with Coach M - Edition 59 - Mental Battles

Welcome to this month’s catch-up with Coach M — and honestly, the timing could not have been better with Two Oceans Marathon weekend just behind us, because what a weekend it was. I don’t normally single things out like this, but I have to say it — the runners were incredible. From first-timers taking on something completely new, to those who had limited training time and still showed up, to the many who couldn’t officially race but did their own solidarity runs… every single one of them chose to show up, and that’s what matters. And it ties in perfectly with what we’re talking about this month, because none of those runs were just physical — they were mental battles. I can guarantee you that at some point, every one of those runners had that internal conversation… the same one we all have: “Should I slow down? Should I stop? Can I actually do this?” That’s self-negotiation right there. And the difference between those who finished and those who didn’t isn’t talent, it isn’t perfect preparation — it’s who won that conversation in their head. They didn’t eliminate the doubt, they just didn’t give it the final say. They adjusted, they paced differently, they walked when needed, but they kept moving forward. And that’s the message — whether it’s running, training, health, or life — you don’t need perfect conditions, you don’t need perfect preparation, you just need to decide that when that voice starts negotiating, you’re not going to let it win. 🔥 LEVEL UP: The Battle in Your Head

This week’s topic was a bit of a “should I… shouldn’t I…” situation.

And I’ve learned something over time —

If I’m questioning something, if I’m having to work through it in my own head…

👉 there are definitely others sitting in that exact same space.

So let’s talk about it.

🧠 First — the real truth

90% of any battle is in your head.

Not the workout.

Not the plan.

Not the action.

It’s the conversation you have with yourself before you even start:

• Do I want to?

• Can I?

• Is this even possible?

That’s the real work.

Some things? Easy.

You decide, head down, and you just do it.

Most Things?

I Negotiate a fair bit before I do

Other things?

You come out like a bullet train… full speed… and then suddenly realise:

👉 You overcommitted

👉 You went too hard too fast

👉 Or life just had other plans

And now… you have to adjust

⚖️ And here’s where most people get stuck

There is NOTHING wrong with adjusting.

Read that again.

Adjusting your pace… your timeline… your expectations…

That’s part of the process.

But the problem?

👉 We still want the SAME outcome in the SAME timeframe

And when that doesn’t happen…

We feel like we’ve failed.

FALLING is NOT failing.

❗ Let me say this clearly and again:

👉 FALLING is NOT FAILING

Failing is:

• Not getting back up

• Giving yourself permission to quit

• Walking away from something you said mattered

  
  
  
  

Now yes — there are times where stepping away is the right move.

Injuries. Wrong direction. Life shifts.

But that’s not quitting.

👉 That’s realigning

It’s choosing a different path to the same outcome.

🏃‍♀️ Real example (and this is important)

Let’s say you were aiming for a 2-hour half marathon.

Then reality hits, Training didn't go as planned, Life Happened and you didn't progress as you thought you would.....

Now you’re looking at maybe a:

• 2:20

• 2:30

Guess what?

👉 You STILL ran 21.1km

👉 You STILL trained

👉 You STILL committed

And just for perspective…

A 2-hour half marathon puts you in roughly the top 5% of runners globally.

Most runners finish between 2:15 and 3 hours.

So what actually changed?

👉 The timeline

👉 The expectation

NOT the achievement.

🔁 So let’s talk about the real topic: SELF-NEGOTIATION

This is where things get interesting.

Because this is the part no one really talks about.

Self-negotiation is that voice that sounds very reasonable:

• “Maybe just today…”

• “You’re tired…”

• “Start again tomorrow…”

And the problem?

👉 It makes sense in the moment

But the second you start negotiating with yourself…

You create an option to get out

And if there’s an option…

Let’s be honest…

👉 Most of us will take it

💥 My reality right now

If you know my story, you know I’ve had to adjust many times.

There’s a reason for the name comeback queen.

But this time?

After cancer, surgeries, radiation, chemo…

👉 It’s different

👉 It’s harder

Why?

Because now I KNOW what it takes.

And sometimes… ignorance really is bliss.

When you’ve walked the road before, getting back there takes a whole different level of mental commitment. Because now you have expectations, timelines and wanting to get where you were so life can carry on.

The last 3 months have been tough

• Nutrition? Not ideal

• Taste and smell? Completely off

• Easier to eat quick, low-nutrient foods

• Strength and endurance? Took a knock

And yes… I kept going.

But even something like a run recently reminded me:

👉 This is going to take time

I’m heavier than I want to be.

Not where I thought I’d be, running wise

And this is where most people spiral.

🔑 So what do I do?

I go back to one thing:

👉 I don’t negotiate

That 4am alarm?

There is no conversation.

I don’t ask myself how I feel.

I don’t debate it.

👉 I just get up

Because the moment you start negotiating…

You give yourself a way out.

And you are HUMAN…

8 out of 10 times…

👉 you will lose that battle with yourself

📊 What this looks like in real life

I’m on 620 odd days of DAILY movement.

Now let me be very clear — that doesn’t mean perfect.

There were days during treatment where:

👉 I just did what I could

👉 I planned around how I felt

👉 Some days were HARD

Do I hit my step target every day?

❌ No

Do I hit my weekly average?

✅ YES

That’s an adjustment.

That’s real life.

Same with training

• Minimum 2 strength sessions a week → non-negotiable

• Had to shift to bodyweight for a while → adjustment

Same with work and goals

I had big plans this year.

Truth?

👉 I’m not even close to where I thought I’d be

And that was a hard pill to swallow.

But instead of quitting…

👉 I adjusted the timeline

Because my body needed to recover

My focus needed space

🧠 So how do you actually beat self-negotiation?

Not with motivation.

Not with hype.

But with systems.

1. Remove the choice

Decide what is NON-NEGOTIABLE:

• Movement

• Training

• Showing up

  
  

And stop asking yourself if you feel like it.

2. Shrink the action, not the habit

Bad day?

👉 Do less — but still do it

• 15 minutes instead of 50

• Walk instead of run

• Better choice instead of perfect plan

3. Start before you think

Don’t decide first.

👉 START… then decide

Because action kills resistance.

4. Plan for the hard days

They are coming.

So instead of being surprised by them…

👉 expect them

👉 prepare for them

👉 move through them

🔥 This Is Where It Changes

Let’s slow this down for a second… because this is the part that matters most.

Levelling up isn’t about doing more.

It’s not about going harder.

And it’s definitely not about being perfect.

Because if that were the case… most people would succeed.

But they don’t.

Why?

Because at some point — for everyone — it gets hard.

Not Instagram hard.

Not “I’m tired” hard.

👉 Real hard.

The kind of hard where:

• Your body isn’t responding the way it used to

• Your motivation is nowhere to be found

• Life throws something at you that you didn’t plan for

• And everything in you starts looking for an exit

And that’s the moment.

That exact moment…

👉 That’s where the separation happens

Not at the start.

Not when everything is exciting and new.

Not when motivation is high.

But when:

• Progress slows

• You have to adjust

• You feel like you’re going backwards

That’s where most people start negotiating.

They start saying:

• “Maybe this isn’t for me…”

• “I’ll start again next week…”

• “I just need a break…”

And slowly… without even realising it…

👉 They drift away from the very thing they said they wanted

Not because they couldn’t do it…

But because they negotiated themselves out of it.

💥 Here’s the truth most people avoid

You don’t lose when you slow down.

You don’t lose when you adjust.

You don’t lose when you fall.

You lose when:

👉 You stop showing up

👉 You stop recommitting

👉 You stop getting back up

Because falling?

That’s part of it.

Adjusting?

That’s part of it.

Starting over?

That’s part of it.

🔁 The real win

The real win is becoming someone who:

• Shows up when it’s inconvenient

• Adjusts without quitting

• Keeps moving even when it’s messy

• Refuses to negotiate on the things that matter

Because at the end of the day…

👉 Consistency beats intensity

👉 Discipline beats motivation

👉 And identity beats everything

🧠 So here’s the question

When things get hard…

When the plan doesn’t go the way you expected…

When you’re not where you thought you’d be…

👉 Who are you in that moment?

Are you the person who negotiates their way out…

Or the person who adjusts… and keeps going?

🚀 Now...

Remove the option to quit.

Decide who you are.

And then show up — especially on the days you don’t feel like it.

Because those are the days that actually change you.